24-7 on call

Sometimes I just need a mommy day. A day to stay in bed, watching Netflix, and not moving. All. Day. Long. Not making any meals. Not giving a bath or cleaning up food messes.... Nothing. 

Sometimes I just need "mommy" time... Time for me to be me without the 20lb attachment that usually sits on my hip. 

Tonight is one of those nights. Mel got shipped off to Brads mom and dads house for the night. After multiple nights of a lack of sleep thanks to the stubborn 1 year old that refuses to sleep in her own bed, I just need a night to myself. 

I know I'm not the only mom that needs "me" time. I know there are others out there that feel this way too, but sometimes I just wish that other people understood that. I know that parenthood is a 24-7 job, but I also feel like many marriages, including my own, are strained because the parents focus so much on the child that they lose sight of who they were before the child. I feel like I've lost myself to my "mommy self" and have completely sluffed off my old self. I know, parenthood changes you, but I also feel like you shouldn't lose yourself over it. 

I've been in such a droopy mood lately. I'm beyond happy with my life, don't get me wrong, but something is off. I'm delighted my daughter is growing so quickly, but I'm dreading it at the same time. I think I'm to a stage of parenthood where everything is new again. I'm not a person who likes new. Mel is walking, close to talking, and she's learning about her anger.... She's starting to hit and she even tried to BITE my sister today!!! She's ONE!! I'm not sure how to handle it. And this along with stress from work, stress from life, everything is piling up.... 

So tonight is my night to have me time for the week. I'm going to lay in bed, watch Netflix, and sleep in in the morning. Then I'm going to happily go to work, and come home and do it all over again tomorrow night. Why? Because I can. Because I'm just a 20 something mother who needs a break from her beloved child. No parent is perfect, and I'm far from, but there's no reason I can't take a night to relax for once! 

Melanie's First Birthday

January 23, 2015 

Mel's first birthday. 

I cannot believe a whole year has come and gone since she was born. It has been a year of joys and fears. Happiness and laughter along with tears and frustrations. 

The journey of parenthood has been exactly that, a journey. There's no road map. No compass. No gps. It's a blind adventure. Before Mel, and even Paige, I read a fair number of books trying to prepare myself for motherhood, parenting, having a baby girl, having a child after the loss of a child, breastfeeding, childbirth, and marriage after kids. None of those books could prepare me for the roller coaster adventure I was about to embark on.

The day of Mels first birthday, she learned to walk. Not only did my little 7 lb baby grow into an adorable blonde blue eyed toddler, but she also grew into a walker. A baby gibberish talking, walking, solid food eating, toddler. All in a years time. I felt like I got hit by two busses from different directions. Double whammy. My baby girl is one.... And she started walking on her first birthday.   

How does a full year with an infant go by so fast? In my 25 years of life, this past year has been the fastest paced one yet. I knew children grow up fast, I was told by multiple people that they grow faster than you wish.  I never knew it would be this quick. From 7lbs to 19lbs. From fragile to bouncing off the walls and floors.... She has grown up into a toddler in the blink of an eye. One day she was crawling, the next she was walking all over the place. One day she's crying   because she's hungry, the next she's throwing a fit because a toy is in her way and she's blocked from where she wants to go. She has matured from a simple baby to a complex toddler. Her personality is exquisite. She truly is her fathers daughter, but she gets her looks from her mama. 

1 Whole Year... In multiple ways...

I've been telling myself for months that I really needed to get on this blog and update a lot of information. It has been nearly an entire year since I last posted here. I can't believe how fast life has been flying by, even though there are days where I feel like life is inching past.... It's been a year of firsts.... a year with Melanie... a year without a blog post....

Throughout the past year we have had many ups and downs.

In April; Mel and I attended multiple soccer games for Mel's first time to watch Aunt Cassie and Sara play soccer. This was Cassie's last year, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching the games... Mel liked her nap time...

In May; Brad, Mel and I all attended the Tulip Festival for the first time as a family. Mel got to "drive" Great Grandpa De Jong's tractor, and she actually liked it! We also attended Cassie's graduation from High School. 

In June; Brad, Mel, and I went to the Zoo for the first time. We took a 'staycation' to Sioux Falls where we went shopping, went to the zoo, and visited some family.

In July; We all went to Aunt Cheri's wedding where Mel was a flowergirl for the first time in her life! She actually ended up sleeping in Grandmas arms down the aisle... Mel also attended her first County Fair where she learned how to make goat/sheep noises.... We won't ever forget that!

In August; The Ackerman side of our family went on vacation together. We were gone for 5 days. This was Mel's first real family vacation. She also caught her first fish off the dock near our cabin. We had a lot of fun during this week, and we were blessed with many amazing memories...

September.... Where do I even begin. We moved to Merrill, IA where Brad and I both accepted new jobs. This was Mel's first move to a new house. Mel also started attending daycare for the first time in her life.... and she loved it. Mel also went in to the Dr. at the Castle in Sioux Falls for the first time to evaluate her hips, which were cleared of hip displaysia. Mel also started crawling at the end of this month too.

October; We painted pumpkins for the first time as a family. We also went to the Pumpkinland and did the Corn Maze with some of our family friends. Mel got to dress up as Tigger for Halloween, and we visited all of her Grandmas and Grandpas (and great/ great great grandparents).

November; We said good bye to my grandma Gloria. We spend hours with my family reminiscing over the past, feeling blessed with the memories we had with her. This was also Mel's first Thanksgiving! She stuffed her face with tons and tons of food, just like the rest of us!

December; This was quite and emotional month. On the 19th we had a chimney fire which started the attic of our rental house on fire. We were saved by a smoke detector. Praise the Lord. We moved out of the house into a temporary parsonage 15 miles from Le Mars. It changed our lives drastically, doubling our commute every day, moving us farther from work and town, and living in a house that wasn't home... Then there is Christmas. Our spoiled rotten 11 month old received tons and tons of clothes, toys, and money for gifts. She loved the attention she got from everyone and she stole the show. She learned that gifts were meant to be opened and she really enjoyed ripping the paper off of gifts, whether they were hers or not.

January; Mel turns one. ONE... and on the day she turned one she learned to WALK.... What a double whammy on this mama who was in denial. My baby turned one and learned to walk all on the same day. We threw a pretty fun birthday party for her, that she will never remember, but that's what pictures are for right?? :)

February; This past weekend we got to return back to our rental house. We are back HOME. Mel knew exactly which room was hers, and she definitely missed her crib. She walked right up to it and gave the mattress a huge hug. It was ADORABLE. We are adjusting to our new life here, in a newly remodeled house. We're working on decorating, furnishing, and unpacking the boxes that have been packed and un packed too many times this past year....

So there is the catch up from this past year.... I PROMISE to start keeping you all updated more often now. We have lots of fun adventures to come this next year.... and I can't wait to keep watching my little peanut grow and becoming a little lady...

Hips, Baptism, Work, and 7 Weeks...

We talked with a specialist about her hip displasia in the Right leg.. he was not concerned about it just yet. We are set to go back to the Castle for another round of ultrasounds/x-rays in August, and from there they will determine what our course of action will be.

This past Sunday, March 9, Melanie was baptised at the Archer Reformed Church. She was SO pretty! When Paige was buried, we had her dress made from my wedding dress. We also had a memorial bear made out of the material from my dress. We decided to do this again for Melanies baptism gown... and it was PERFECT (although my wedding dress is now a pile of scrap pieces ;-). The dress fit her perfectly, and she looked like an angel in it! I loved it! Her baptsim went really well. We had so many friends and family show up to support us and to celebrate with us. She didn't make a PEEP through the entire service either... she didn't even wiggle when Pastor Jeremy put the water on her head! We had a luncheon following the service and Mel was passed around like a bag of potatoes... but she behaved so well!

Monday, March 10, I returned back to work full time. Today... I am exhausted. I am working 8-5 during the week days, and I go in for just the calf feedings (5 am and 3 pm) on the weekends. I get a break every 3-4 hours so that I can run to the house and pump because I'm breast feeding. My mom, mother in law, sisters, and sister in law are taking rotations on watching Mel for me, so I don't have a paid babysitter for the time being. I am perfectly ok with this though because I know she is in good hands with family!! It's nice to have her around too, sometimes they watch her at the house, because then I can run to the house when she is hungry and nurse her while I take my break. I've noticed a large change in her personality this past week-- she is definately becoming a mama's girl! When I get home from work we just like to hit the bed and cuddle. We both miss the days where we just laid around and did NOTHING but watched movies together. I still get every 4 days off (3 days work, 1 day off) so that is nice to have that one day a week where I can just catch up on mommy/Mel cuddles. Sometimes Brad joins us for some cuddles, but he usually heads downstairs to the 'man cave' and watches his 'stupid' shows ;-). Brad has been watching her this weekend while I have been at work... he's starting to get a hold of the 'mr mom' thing.

This past Thursday, March 13, Mel turned 7 weeks old.... 7 weeks! Where has time gone!?!? My little 7 lb baby is no longer little! She is growing like a weed! She is officially too big for her newborn sleepers, so we graduated her to the 0-3 month size... :-( When people told me babies didn't stay little for forever, I knew that was true, but I didn't know that she would grow up so fast!! :-( She now can hold her head up all by herself for extended periods of time, and she can hold herself up on her feet too! You have to balance her of course... but she is SO strong and smart for being such a little bundle! She also LOVES to smile at things! I love her smiles! They are adorable!

I hope to keep everyone updated on some of our current events more often. I know I have really failed at keeping the blog updated for the last few months. I have a feeling that motherhood and a full time job will keep me pretty busy now too though. Bare with me! I'm trying!

5 Weeks and ultrasounds...

This past week we hit the 5 week mark. Where the heck is time going?!?! This little 7 pound munchkin is getting soooo big and so strong! 

It's so crazy to think about how tiny and dependent this little being was just a few weeks ago, now she's holding her head up on her own, and she even stands her self up on your lap (you have to balance her of course). She's such a little munchkin. She has been starting to smile more and more, which is always a good thing! I like my happy baby! She's just too adorable when she's smiling and cooing away and kicking those legs! 

Last Sunday was her 1 month birthday! We celebrated by taking Sunday naps together :) we love naps. She is still up 2-3 times a night to eat, but has been figuring out days and nights pretty well. She stays awake a lot more during the days now. She eats like a pig during the day too. She is growing,

 that is for sure! She is almost too big for her newborn clothes. She is getting too long for them! When she stretches out they get pulled tight! 

This past week we graduated from the tiny little "bucket bath" in the kitchen to the big kid tub. We are using a friends little "whale tub" that you put inside a regular tub and fill it with warm water like normal. Melanie, to my suprise, LOVES bath time. I can't believe how good she does in the tub! The only problem.... Is that when you pull her out of the tub and start drying her off.... She SCREAMS!!! Once you get her dressed again, she is fine. Haha. 

This past Wednesday we had to make a trip up to the Sanford Castle (children's hospital) for her 1 month hip ultrasound. They ordered this the day she was born because of how she was positioned inside of me and because of my history with hip dysplasia. They did an ultrasound on both of her hips, which took a matter of 10 minutes (total wasted trip to Sioux Falls). Yesterday the doctor called me with the results to the ultrasound. The Left leg showed no signs of any issues, but the Right hip does have a mild subluxation... Which means she has a little bit if hip dysplasia. This means that the femur head and the hip socket aren't lined up how they should be. The hip joint is able to move around. Next week there is a specialist that will be calling me to discuss what we do from here. She could possibly grow out of this on her own, she could need a brace just like I had, or she could need surgery (which is usually only in severe cases). I'm really hoping she grows out of it and won't have to have a brace, but we will see what the specialist thinks. So far it doesn't hurt her because she's not sitting up or using the hip at all. I have noticed however that when you hold her standing up, she will favor the right leg. It might be me thinking things up, but that's what I have seen... The wierd thing is that my right hip was the one that I had issues with as a newborn too. I'm just hoping and praying that everything will turn out right! 

Next week we will be celebrating Mel's baptism! I also have my 6 week check up on Wednesday so I'm hoping to get the "all clear" from the doctor to go back to work. I'm hoping to be back at work on the 10th... I miss work, but I'm not sure how ready I am to leave my baby girl :(  My incision is still tender, but it healed up very well and I only really notice it when I wear jeans or twist wrong. Mel also will hit the 6 week mark this coming week. 

To finish up-- here's a few of my favorite candids for now! 

Well. I will update again soon. I promise! 

Ros

Birth Announcement!

Photo Card

View the entire collection of cards.

4 Weeks... Almost

It's been quite the ride, these past 4 weeks. On Thursday, Melanie will be 4 weeks old. I can't believe how fast time is flying by. I find myself laying in bed just starting at her throughout the day as I lay next to her while she naps. I look back on oictures from the day she was born and can't believe how much she has changed already. I can't wait for her to grow up and become the woman she will be some day, but at the same time I just want to push pause and continue on with the life of cuddles and kisses.... Don't forget the dirty diapers. 

I can't believe the joy and happiness that has been brought to this home through something so little. It's like having a baby puppy all over again, but better. :) Melanie had been such a blessing to both myself and Brad already, I can't wait to see what's in store for our family in the future.

This morning I got a smile on camera for the first time. This isn't by any means her first smile... She does it all the time... But I was pretty excited to get a picture for the first time today. :) she's just too cute! I snap way too many photos of her, and I'm sure many people are getting sick of my Facebook uploads, but in obsessed with my adorable little girl! 

Melanie has a routine that Brad and I have both kind of figured out. She sleeps a majority of the night besides 2 feedings , and she is awake around 8am and 8pm for an hour or two-- otherwise she mainly sleeps all day besides during feedings, diaper changes, and baths. She is a lot more alert than she was the first couple of weeks, and she recognizes my voice and face now. :) 

Today the little shit got two baths. She peed while I was changing her diaper, so she was pee from head to buttox. I got her in the tub and sat her down in the warm water and she was loving it. I got her all cleaned up, bubbled her up, and rinsed her off. I was letting her sit there in the tub while I turned around to grab her towel that I was sitting on, and when I turned back around, she farted.... More like sharted... In the tub... The water immediately turned orange/brown. As I comprehended what was going on.... I couldn't help but chuckle... Little miss got pulled out of the little tub while I filled it back up with clean, warm water, and we did the bath all over again. After bath#2, she was not happy that it was time to get out. She LOVES bath time... And I got this adorable little temper tantrum outbid her. I'm pretty sure that I won't be calling her tantrums adorable for too much longer, but today it was too cute. Her face when she's chewing me out.... It cracks me up.

Shortly after bath time, and her tummy was full, the little stinker slipped quietly into a milk coma and is now sleeping very co gently on my lap here in bed. I can't explain the love and compassion that I feel for this tiny body, but I love it. 

Anyways, tatah for now. We will catch you again next week!