Monday, April 29, 2013

Smiles, Giggles, and Head bobs…


1/3rd of a year. 4 Months. 17 weeks. 119 days.

The amount of time I have survived without Paige. The days are starting to blend together now that I have a job that keeps me occupied 60 hours a week, but that doesn’t make it any easier at the end of the day to go to bed with empty arms.

I’m really starting to miss the feeling of being a mother. The feeling of pure joy and excitement as the due date draws near. I get overwhelmed when I watch some of our closest friends experience parenthood. How they get to take their little kids on “family trips” or get to experience their children’s “firsts.” It truly is a very difficult task being a mother to a tiny baby angel.

These past few weeks have been very hard on me. Brad is still working 3 hours away, which leaves me home alone whenever he is away. He has been coming home on weekends, but I still wish we got to spend more time together. Life just seems more complete with him around. I have been spending a lot of my time with Mike, Tiff, and Alli as they live fairly close to us now. This past week I have really noticed just how much I truly wish Paige was still here. I have been able to experience Alli’s smile, her giggle, holding up her head on her own (even if there are a few head bobs in there), finding out what rattles, feet, and hands are, her baptism, and I even got the joy of taking her 3 month pictures. I never thought I would be jealous of others parenthood, especially after having Paige, but here I am… coveting friends’ lives. Even though I wish I could walk this journey with our friends, just like I experienced the journey of pregnancy right along besides them, I know, deep in my heart, there was SOME reason God didn’t want me to have Paige in my life on earth. For SOME unknown reason, she wasn’t meant to be my earthly child.

4 Months later I am still asking the question “Why me?”… I still haven’t figured out the exact answer. It’s hard to see the positives in my journey with Paige.  When I ask myself what she gave me, I can always come up with the negatives.  There seem to be barely any positives to me… I don’t know. It’s confusing. What did I gain from Paige??... A broken heart… A huge stress factor on my marriage that could crack at any moment… empty arms… useless baby supplies (diapers, wipes, clothes, toys, books, blankets, etc…), and an even bigger dream of being a mother to a beautiful, healthy, adorable little girl. The only positives I can think of are that she gave me the best 6 months of my life. 6 months of my life where my world revolved around her, where my daily routine was based on her. 6 months of my life where I had everything I wanted. I had a husband who was excited to becoming a dad and loved the two of us unconditionally, a place I could call home, a family. And here I am.

Alive. Breathing. 4 Months after I thought my world ended. I’ll never forget the doctors words “There is no movement in your baby’s chest…” Those words will remain in my mind, as well as the overwhelming feeling of failure, heartbreak, anger, frustration, fear, disbelief, and whatever other un-explainable emotions all ran through my mind at that exact moment. But I am surviving. Holding on. Life is getting better. I know God has a plan for me, I’m just waiting for that plan to be something that I want… for something to go right for once. He found me a house; he found me a job; now I just wish my other prayers would be answered as well.


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